I spent an hour or so this weekend writing another few recommendations, and it got me thinking: where do they really fit? In one regard they are potentially important for your next employer to see that people valued you enough to write a recommendation. The text of the recommendation itself could give some insight into your fit into their organization. It could even give you some red flags about this person’s approach or style. Those things are valuable, but is that their only importance? I do not believe that recommendations are so limited in value. I propose they have an additional three distinct values. And at the end of this, I hope you go write a few “recos” yourself.
How You Value Others
I list this one first, though I think it is the second most important; I want to lay the groundwork for my next point. So, let’s explore this one first. Whether I am in a situation where I am interviewing someone for a role, or I am the one interviewing for a new role, I always read the recommendations for the interviewee and the interviewer. I want to see what others are saying about these people. That is the obvious part, and it can be really helpful. I also read what they have written about others. This is the important part. It is usually in this section where I make my decisions about next steps for a person. How does this person respect, care for, and think about their partners and team? How do they approach leadership?
Leadership? Indeed. Leadership is about being responsible to your people, and it does not have to mean that they report to you. You do not have to be a manager to be a leader. I had a friend once explain it to me this way: “Do you know how to tell if you are a leader? Look behind you and see who is following.” His simple words demonstrate that leadership does not have to be connected to managing. I hire leaders, I work for leaders — people who are genuine, earnest, honest, care for those that they work with, and have integrity. Who you write recommendations for, and how you write them, tells me what I need to know most about whether we are on the same page with this.
Telling Others That You Value Them
In writing those few recommendations this weekend and sharing them with those partners, I got several emotional responses back. I think that I know why. I do not write emotional recommendations, I write professional ones that are unabashed in their representation of the person’s value to me. When do you get to tell your most valuable partners, team members, or managers what their contributions mean to you? Some companies give you the chance to write this kind of information as part of a review process, but they are not the norm. When do you get to say “I value you, you mattered to me, to my career, to my personal growth?” We go through our days and know that people value us in theory, but do we really? I would say the consistently emotional responses I have received to a recommendation suggest otherwise.
Do those you value know that you value them? Maybe I am just bad at telling people, but I do not think that is it. We are all looking for some degree of confirmation that we matter. It seems that LinkedIn has offered a rare opportunity to have a good context to say these things in a professional environment. I, for one, really appreciate it.
How Others See You
Finally, in more of a utilitarian aspect, recommendations are valuable to the receiver because they can tell their next potential employer the kind of employee they are. It can let them know the kinds of contributions they have made in the past, how they might contribute to the reader’s company, how they might fit into the new organization.
But what does it tell YOU? Recommendations are a mirror. They can show you how others see the same scenarios and what your contributions were to them. It can help you tell your own story, or it can force you to reconsider what your part really was, and if you are as much the hero as you think you are. It is a rare opportunity to see how your proponents view you, and if it is not as rosy as you might imagine, it is the opening for self-reflection.
So, What Now?
So what now — what do you do with this info? Well, if you are thinking about writing some recommendations yourself, here are a couple of things I have learned along the way. First, just being practical, I write recommendations for people I am no longer working with on a daily basis. That is for two reasons. First, it could be a little awkward as they try to figure out how to respond to it in the context of still working day in and day out with you. Second, it is past the point where you could benefit from flattering said person. Once you are not working together, there is no way for you to benefit, and it adds a weight and a gravity to your words because they are free of charge. And they should be free of charge, by the way. If you write recommendations only as a quid pro quo, you have missed my point.
In closing, I would challenge you, if you agree with me, to go write a few recommendations. See what the response is. As I said, it is a rare opportunity LinkedIn has given us to give something back to your partners that they probably want — your affirmation that you value them.